How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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