You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
