? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
