I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
