You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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