I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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