Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
