Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
