At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize