SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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