A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
