Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
