i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
