this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
