lets start a swedish sibling band together
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
