i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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