Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
