Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
