This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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