Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
