can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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