Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize