i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
