If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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