She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
