I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
