Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
