everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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