He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just google imaged poop.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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