why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pants are for mortals
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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