He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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