just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
