I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
