Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
