Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
