some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
