I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
