I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
