pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
