remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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