Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
