it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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