What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's not a walk of shame if you run
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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