Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
