so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
