You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
