the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
