If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
