If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
