Can Purell be used as lube?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
