I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
