she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
