She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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