would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
