fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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