I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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